Clueless
by BadgebunnyUK
Summary: Just a small scenario which sprang from the whole pizza sharing scene in this weeks episode. Cos really how gay can it get without being gay? Maura brings a date home to a far from empty house. x defo oneshot.


**A/N- Just a random and slightly amusing scene that popped into my head as a result of the shows escalating married couple antics.**

Maura showed her date into the house, she had consumed three glasses of red wine and she and her date had found plenty to talk about; discovering they both had an interest in astronomy and astrophysics.

Maura had not been on a date in a while, not since the disaster with Dennis and yet today she had decided quite spontaneously to take the leap once again with a rather polite, well dressed lawyer that she met in the BPD café.

The house was lit up like a Christmas tree so Maura knew before she entered that Jane was home, there was nothing remarkable in that. Maura had become quite accustomed to returning to a bright, warm and busy house, so on the few days when Jane had to work all night and Angela wasn't around it really struck Maura how lonely the place could be; she hadn't even noticed that in her earlier days in Boston.

As Martin followed Maura through the door he caught sight of Jane in the kitchen, she had the phone in her hand and as she saw the pair she placed a hand over the mouth piece.

"Hey Maur, I'm ordering pizza; you're friend want something?" Jane called.

Maura looked questioningly at her date as she stood hands loosely holding her purse in front of her. He quickly shook his head and placed his hands in his pockets as Jane nodded and finished up her order.

Jane held up a hand. "Before you ask, half mushroom; on its way." She told Maura.

"We've already eaten." Martin told Jane who threw a dismissive hand in the air.

"Yeah well, don't be fooled by Dr Isles slender figure; she can pack it away like you wouldn't believe and If I don't get her a half she will spend the night picking at my pizza." Jane said knowingly.

"So, Coffee." Maura declared, clearing her throat as she realised she couldn't exactly contradict Jane when she was so looking forward to the pizza that was on its way.

"You sure you don't want a beer? It takes easily 20 minutes for her to perform the coffee porn." Jane said straight-faced as she turned to pull open the fridge and plucked out a beer for herself.

Martin swallowed awkwardly, his throat suddenly dry. "A beer would be fine." He replied.

Jane pulled out another bottle and in one swift motion pivoted on one foot to where Maura stood brandishing a bottle opener. Maura deftly opened both bottles without a word and Jane leant over the kitchen counter and handed one to Martin.

"So where did you two eat?" Jane asked casually, taking a swig of her beer.

"Oh we tried that new Vegan restaurant I was telling you about, it was very unique and an interesting take on the more traditional vegan dishes." Maura said enthusiastically.

"Yes!" Jane punched the air in glee and proceeded to pat Martin on the shoulder as the three of them made their way over to the living area. "You really did me a favour with that one buddy." Jane said quietly to him.

Maura heard the comment of course and gave Jane a disapproving look which prompted a look of feigned innocence from Jane.

Jane reached the sofa first and putting her beer down, plopped her body heavily onto it.

Martin took in Jane's casual attire; the red socks sweater, jersey shorts and socked feet which Jane promptly stationed on the table; crossing them at the ankle.

Maura automatically sat beside Jane, close enough to be touching as was her habit and knocked Jane's feet quickly from the table.

"Jane we have a guest." Maura admonished.

Jane rolled her eyes at Martin and reluctantly placed her feet on the floor, reaching again for her beer.

"So are you Maura's …housemate?" Martin asked taking his own seat in the nearby arm chair and nervously perching himself on the edge of the seat.

Maura smiled politely and answered for them. "Oh no! We skipped the formal introductions, I apologize Martin. This is Jane; she is my best friend." Maura said as if that was explanation enough.

Jane obviously thought that covered it as well as she grinned at him happily. Martin frowned for a moment and Jane leant forward, placing a hand on Maura's thigh to steady her as she did so.

"I have my own apartment." Jane explained. "I just come over to check on Maura occasionally and hang out; she has a bigger T.V." Jane joked, nodding her head at the large mounted screen but turning to a frowning Maura and giving her a conciliatory rub of the thigh and a pout.

"Oh sweetie; that reminds me, that British documentary you wanted to watch "Prehistoric autopsy" is on tonight at 10.45pm." Jane said.

"Oh yes! Thank you Jane, I would hate to miss it." Maura beamed up at her friend gratefully.

Just then Angela burst into the house.

"Maura, you have any matches?" She called as she began rooting through the nearest kitchen drawer.

Maura jumped up off the sofa and two pairs of eyes followed her appreciatively as she hurried toward the kitchen to assist in Angela's search.

Martin looked blankly at Jane.

"Oh, that's my mother." She pointed her beer bottle in the direction of the kitchen. "She lives in the guest house." Jane smiled, reaching for the remote.

Martin got up from his seat. "Okay." He announced, nodding knowingly. He made his way over to the kitchen counter where Maura was deep in hushed conversation with Angela. Martin placed his half drunk beer on the counter top and at smiled a tight lipped smile at the two women who's full attention had just turned to him.

"I should be going." Martin said edging toward the front door.

"Oh are you sure?" Maura said instantly concerned that she had not been an adequate host.

"Yeah, it's getting late and you seem to have your hands full here." He said politely as Maura accompanied him to the door.

Angela smiled wildly and waved a hand in goodbye at the retreating gentlemen caller.

Martin stepped out on to the street and turned to face Maura, still with a slightly baffled look about him. "Sooooooo." He said drawing out the word. "I had a nice time."

"So did I." Maura nodded.

"I'll maybe… call you then?" He asked uncertainly.

"Okay." Maura agreed."Goodnight Martin." She smiled happily, closing the door and returning to the kitchen where she snagged a box of matches from a cupboard and delivered them to Angela.

"Was that a date Maura?" Angela demanded, quite frankly a little surprised by the idea. Angela like everyone else had just assumed that her girls had finally quit kidding themselves and sorted things out between them, she was under the impression there would be no more dates.

"Yes." Maura replied, pouring a small glass of wine. "He is really very nice." Maura said plainly.

Angela gazed over at the sofa where her daughter relaxed in her usual spot, like a part of the fixtures and fittings. "Uh huh, he didn't stick around too long." She pointed out.

"No, I expect he was tired." Maura said reasonably as she took out another beer for Jane and a bag of chips.

Maura padded over to the sofa and Angela watched as the Doctor snuggled into her place at Jane's side and turned to feed the taller woman a chip.

Angela shook her head. "Clueless." She told the empty kitchen as she made her way back to the guest house.

**A/N- Reviews would be great! x**


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